Springfield Movie Awards

20,000 movies were being show in Springfield one weekend, and all the cobras had their titties perky at the prospect.

For 20,000 years, The Baroness had said "no more stupid movies, idiotcows!" so all the vipers watched were the episodes of Step by Step that Firefly had lent them on VHS.

So all the danaburgers showed up for the big showing of movies, which were all supposed to about eating giant cheeseburgers, fraggin' on Snake Eyes with .3134234 full-deriched uraniamum anti-tank hollow tipped diamond stylus automatic rounds froma 20 metere bored and stroked plasma MAMABA cannon that they JB welded onto the side of that gay thing that Zartan cruises for old florida swamp ladies with.

So they were excited about that.

Anyway, they all showed up at the theater, which a televiper made by modifiying Kristal Ballz' holodisc to project onto Dr. Mindwarpers cloak thing. It was bad ass.

TOO BAD IT WASN'T!

Cause the movie started, and it was mad awesome for like, 12 seconds, all explosions and Supertramp songs and titties and shit, but then the screen caught on fire and a buttload of Rolling Thunders came through the screen with Rock and Roll, Snake Eyes, Hit and Run, General Hawk, Quick Kick, Kwinn, Lady Jaye, Flint, Deep Six, Torpedo, Shipwreck, chuckles and Hi-Tech all shooting mad .357 caliber shotgun lasers through their faces and making them bleed and burn to death while their kids and puppies watched.

After all 20,000 cobras were throroughly bled out to death, The Joes yelled "Yo Joe" and told kids to wash their dad's cars every Saturday morning without being asked, and maybe he won't beat you anymore. PSA, fo real.

Anyway, the worst part was that the movie was really bad too, after the first 20 seconds it was mostly just old Grateful Dead footage and Destro's favorite scenes from "Glengarry Glen Ross" all out of order.