Olympics

This idea of counting up one country's medals, gold silver and bronze, and tallying them as one, is ridiculous. Clearly they need to be weighted, not just for alloy but for sport.

A gold in the marathon should earn more points for her country than the winner of the bronze in rhythmic gymnastic ribbon-twirling.

At the top of the list you've got the decathalon, marathon, 1500M, 100M, individual all-around gymnastics, soccer and other stuff like that. Maybe wrestling too, for tradition. I'm not sure, there's probably a lot more. It's tough to get a swimming event in because there's just so many of them.

And maybe a decathalon plus a few dozen more events, swimming, kayaking, tetherball, roller dancing, van surfing, mustache growing, cooking, karaoke, water-skiing, vinyl spinning, nose blowing, stuff like that.

I also still like the idea of making every athlete for a particular country compete in some massive relay race/obstacle course. You'd have to have some formula for number of athletes or something.

There should be a mystery sport, each country sends a team of 15 or so guys, and then they find out the sport they're going to play when they show up. Like matball or one of those made-up games from gym class.