Stuart Wilson's blog of limited appeal

2010-02-04T17:12:00.001-08:00

Best/Worst Idea: Turkey sausage (pre-Christmas) fried with minced garlic I bought years ago. Mozzarella cheese sprinkled on top (also pre-Christmas) and nuked. Pair with Christmas Coors Light.

2010-02-03T14:14:00.000-08:00

Best Idea: New game at work. It's gross.

I have a 24 oz. water bottle. I get one free pee in the morning, before any other bathroom break I have to finish the entire water bottle before I get to pee again. A new bottle must be completed before any trip to the men's room. I was just chugging by the end of the day I had to go so bad. I went through 7 bottles. Healthy and stupid!

2010-02-01T21:14:00.000-08:00

Best Idea: New adult movie: In Glory Hole Basterds.

I know this much

2010-01-29T12:33:00.000-08:00

Best idea today: Giving up on Passion Pit's Lady Gaga remix about 24 seconds in favor of Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville.

Secret calories

2010-01-29T08:20:00.000-08:00

Worst Idea: Thinking that a bag of chips and a Butterfinger at 1 a.m .would give me a second wind. An hour later I was in bed with it all in my stomach, visions of a wise-cracking Bart Simpson in my head.

Gettin' Lexicographical with il

2010-01-28T07:49:00.000-08:00

This is an actual comment I left in the survey I was sent after a visit to the Apple Store this week:

My scheduled time was pushed back a half hour or so, but I added to my wait by not hearing my name when it was called. Fortunately, my iPhone wasn't so incapacitated that I couldn't play solitaire while I waited.

On an unrelated, and possibly more important note. Donni was extremely helpful and kind, my problem was just "schmutz" in the headphone jack. I tell people this, and they ask, "Did he really say 'schmutz'?" Indeed he did. Four or five times. He also told me (possibly to ameliorate my embarassment at such a simple problem) that it happens every couple hours.

If that's true, that's dozens of utterances of the word "schmutz" daily. I can't imagine that anyone who has this problem would ever return with it again; it's an easy self fix of course. So that means he has a fresh audience each time. And if they're like me, they're likely to then broadcast their tale, a slightly embarrassing and slightly humorous incident at the Apple Store, fortunately ending with a product that once again works fine. A feel good story, if you will, the kind many people love to reiterate.

My point, and forgive me for all this pontification, is that Donni is doing a wonderful service for the lexicon. Schmutz is such a fine word. Precise but encompassing so many things. A perfect tone for accumulated debris that is neither pleasant nor unpleasant, but is nonetheless not where it should be. The words lint, dirt or goop are too precise, and not necessarily correct. Stuff, crap and shit are crude and much less specific.

Some people don't even know what schmutz means. While Yiddish in entymology, that certainly doesn't mean it can't be a legitimate English word. My dream is that Donni is the spark that can make "schmutz" a more commonly understood and used word.

I think this should qualify Donni for any kind of specially colored T-shirt that esteemed members of the Genius community might qualify for.

For men...who want women

2010-01-27T08:07:00.000-08:00

Worst Idea: New cologne for men: Nothing but perfume and dick sweat. This'll be made after I'm famous, with MY ACTUAL DICK* SWEAT.

*probably just any sweat, actually.

A funky funky movie

2010-01-26T07:35:00.000-08:00

Best idea today:

80 minutes, nothing but shots of various animals set to James Brown. Lots of different kinds of animals, penguins, platypi, pigs, horses running through fields, other wet birds. Some how it tells the story of all human experience.

Song for Annie

2009-12-10T20:14:00.000-08:00

Hey I just came to say
I like the way you move clay
Shorty don't say nay
I got the rhymes that pay

so don't look at that paper
you already know the answer
work that calf anterior
moves be so superior

Little man
has a plan
on the stand
wave a hand
he's so grand
understand

Breakfast is for morning
Classmates be boring
My flow is soaring
we should hit the road touring

Don't get me as stalking
girl we just talking
we could be walking
to Maiden I'm rocking

I know you like my flow
Catch you laughing like whoa
But you didn't know
I got sick rhymes like Poe
And I ain't just so so
so if you wanna go
in the Acco'
To the grocery sto'
Need that avocado
get the quacamo'
Some chips and mo'
eat it nice and slow
no one's gotta know
We eatin that food together.
-Ill Lupo

This is a song about grammar. And boning.

2009-12-08T21:59:00.000-08:00

Can't rhyme with <3
Yo It's not words to me
Could talk about our start
You fillin my mind with art
Or rhyme it with glee
emotions growing like a tree

So use your words
entire words
the kinds you find in a book
the way Carole King writes a hook
So use your words
entire words
So Grab that dictionary
get you in my lictionary

Shorty Baby Girl #1

2009-12-08T21:55:00.000-08:00

Yo shorty baby girl at the table
making me write rhymes like some fables
holla at ya coming out the movie
Check out the museums we hit the Louvie

Yeah I'm layin sweet rhymes on your facebook page
making sweet music like thugged out John Cage
beats so sweet they could be the Whole Foods rage
conjuring hits like a James Brown Warcraft mage

This aint' the time for nice and slow.
Can't you feel my flow? Make that dough?
Take you to the show and let you know
my star is so bright it's about to blow.
My funds like plants they always grow.
So many seeds I sew holla like whoa.
Playin tic tac toe with a dinosau'
let him win though
I need those limbs, yo
So I can get you on the dance flo'
See my moves and you gonna need mo
Flailing so tight when we get low
I'm friend not foe
Wind me up and let me go
Don't let them call you a ho
You so classy.
-Ill Lupo

2009-04-04T23:13:00.000-07:00

Peter's spacious Boylstone Ave Pad. Steven is on the couch. Some other guy just walked in with a plan for the sofa but is putting a blanket on the floor. Laments not having made a stronger move on some "sweet chicks in the elevator" in light of sleeping arrangement. Steve is a fucker, especially because he has an apartment just two blocks away.

An idea from a lucid dream:

A man works hard to find a place of extreme imagination, creativity and clarity. Meditation and Zen. Compelling, moving ideas. Finds success. Romance. Suffering. Possible redemption. Lapse of values. Turn to psychotropic drugs or whatever. Success, repeat. Something like that. It would be one of those motion comics on iTunes. After reviewing my idea, I thing the story is a little weak, almost seems a bizarre allegory of so much baseball hullabaloo. The art would have to be intensely quirky, innovative, intelligent and probably European.

What I do find interesting is some idea of the distinction between the ideas by someone using some kind of mind-altering substance and someone who wasn't. The difference in the innovation, creativity. The difference in clarity and insight. Certainly there are many successful examples of both. One would guess that what the altered version lacked in clarity and strict continuity it often made up for imagination. But perhaps not in depth of meaning, richness of details or well-thought plot development.

Or whatever. Your results may vary. Interesting to ponder, though clear scientific data might be hard-pressed to demonstrate it. Does my above list shed some light on the organization of the qualities of art I value?

A web of secrets in trust to another in trust. A web of close, committed relationships make it work. Possibly inescapable. How to destroy web of broken promises is A Brave New World. Image of blue, viscous strand, connecting a 3 d hexagonal shape. Pulsing red with secrets.

Sent from my Guy SmileyPhone

Social science

2009-03-04T20:23:00.000-08:00

Jon Stewart, lampooning Jonathan Krohn just Monday night:

http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/index.jhtml?episodeId=219516

(I hope that link works.)

So Jonathan Krohn is some kid speaking at CPAC. I'd never heard of him, so I looked him up on that bastion of democratic knowledge, Wikipedia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Krohn

I was surprised to see that about 5% of his entry is now about being lampooned on the Daily Show. Does that mean if I can get Jon Stewart to make fun of me, and do 19 other things, I can be on wikipedia?

It's not as easy as it sounds.

Twitter

2009-02-10T18:09:00.000-08:00

Granted, I'm just getting my feet wet with Twitter. Two days of limited use isn't much. I've talked to people about it too. So far, I still don't really get the point.

I would say that "Highway Companion" by Tom Petty is a far more enjoyable experience than Twitter. Perhaps not his best work, but perfect for what it's title claims it to be. (That's my twitterific review of the album, just so you don't think I'm trying to make some snarky double-burn on Twitter and Tom Petty.)

So to hear people talk about Twitter like it craps Dilithium Crystals confounds me. I'm following eight people, including Shaq, MC Hammer, Britney and Wil Wheaton. Wil posts the most, second seems to be Hammer. Shaq is clearly to busy for grammar.

What's the point of just writing one sentence about a book you just read? I know I have a habit of writing about books I've just read on this blog, but I like to think I do some measure of analysis, however one-sided, ill-founded, unrefined and unclear.

Writing about it in Twitter is going to do what? Start some sort of one-sentence-at-a-time discussion? Tell the world you can read a book? (See, no one reads this blog, so I know I'm not bragging. If I were going to brag, I would write about how awesome I am at Marvel Alliance. Kraken probably can't look at himself in the mirror after what happened in Philly.)

Well feel free to discuss, please limit your response to 11 characters.

And I am putting that Tom Petty review on Twitter, maybe I'll just do that with my account. Reviews of old albums in 155 characters or whatever.

Intelligence

2009-02-09T20:01:00.001-08:00

In the shower today, I was thinking about intelligence, and education. I do this often, it's probably a product of being smart enough to see a little more of the great big world of knowledge beyond my cerebral grasp. They say the more you know, the more you know you what you don't know. They also say you don't know what you don't know. Harumph.

Anyway, I'm not smart enough. That is, my education doesn't feel nearly complete, and I've been reading more than ever before. Intelligence and education are two different things, but they clearly relate. A person who continues to expand their education will generally be smarter in every practical sense.

So I was thinking about high school, that bastion of tangible educational accomplishment. My education progressed so much. I think I was too satisfied. I was too close-minded in college. I could have learned so much more. I think I'm back on track now. I feel young at mind.

The big picture I'm driving at here is that the same intelligence of seventeen, without any augmentation, doesn't look so smart at 26. Nine years of ignorance. I think it would be an easy trap to fall into.

Pre-conceived notions are a fog on the senses.

Obama recap, not as cynical as it may appear.

2009-02-05T12:14:00.000-08:00

One of the things that bothered me before, during and after Barack Obama's win in November was the speculation on what it meant.

Even during the inauguration, I couldn't help but feel skeptical about it all. The history of slavery in the U.S. is a reprehensible mar on this country. Racism lingers on in many forms. Does one man's amazing ascent to the White House change it that significantly?

I guess I had hoped, in the primaries, that it wouldn't matter that his father was born in Africa. Subconsciously, I guess I wanted the issue of race to be so dead it didn't matter in a negative or positive way.

Obviously I was wrong.

So now the inauguration has come and gone, and after enduring countless people tell me how the world was changing leading up to and immediately after Obama's inauguration, I feel it.

Maybe it didn't take as long for it to set in with some people as it did with me, but now I am looking at the world in a new way. Of course, the media has already moved on with other news.

Philadelphia

2009-02-04T12:50:00.000-08:00

I'm returning from Philadelphia now, in the car with Joey Baseball, Gannon and 'Oh Sweet Jesus' Richards. Pet Shop Boys on satellite radio, arguments on the merits of a 'geepiss.' (GPS)

Of course we met up with Stu Peloquin, he was the impetus for the trip. Trevor beingnin the city for six weeks of practical education made the decision even easier. Aidan came down on the train last night but left early this morning. We've been here since midday Monday.

We didn't take in too much of the local history, but plenty local color. Cheesesteaks every day ( Geno's the unanimous favorite), a Celtics/Sixers game won by the green team on a Ray Allen three with half a second left. Several pubs with great food and cheap beer, the kinds of places I would frequent If they were in Providence.

We took pictures with the statue of Rocky and traced his footsteps up to the Philadelphia Art Museum. We went inside, too. Nice collection. The Mutter Museum featured medical oddities. It was extremely interesting, but I'm not the medical student the museum claims to cater to, just a gawker, as I suspect 98% of it's clientele are. Nonetheless, there's nothing like a skeleton of a man whose ligaments turned to bone to reinforce the notion in my head of the careful balance of life.

I have been to Philadelphia before, but this was the first time I felt I experienced it. I certainly enjoyed my stay, despite the four inches of snow, which is apparently abnormal.

A Clockwork Orange

2009-01-27T11:56:00.000-08:00

I read Anthony Burgess' venerable novel yesterday. The rest of this post is about that, and probably useless unless you also happened to spend your evening with the book.

I was struck by the way the language of the nadsat, the teens. It's mostly based on Russian, and by the end of the book, after a word or two each sentence, I was drawn in and reading it easily. A strong effect in a book about brainwashing.

The rest of this entry may spoil the book if you haven't read it, or movie, or whatever.

After living a life of crime, Alex is forced, through strange procedures to his psyche, to obey the law. So his morals haven't changed. His free will has just been taken. A pragmatic result, I suppose. My curiousity lies with his final transformation (in the chapter apparently not originally released in the U.S.) where he seems to bore of crime of his own volition.

Is this when Alex will finally approach a life of moderation, after a lifetime of seemingly pure evil, and then (though forced) pure good? I might be overstating it. Are we to believe that a psychopathic youth can suddenly tire of a life of violence? Not that any of that is stated, or even implied.

I know some people who were fairly awful to be around growing up that have shed ignorance, angst or insecurity to become amazing people. Hope!

I Way

2009-01-23T15:05:00.000-08:00

Driving home from Pawtucket last night, HJY was playing Stairway to Heaven.

I realize that this song's reputation has diminished some, some say it's the most requested song ever, which can only be negative in some minds. Anyway, we've all heard this song many many times. I don't hear it much these days though, as we all seem to have more control over the music we listen to. This entire aside is not meant for the sake of exalting Zeppelins tune, but rather to explain that the song was on, I hadn't heard it in many months, I was enjoying and possibly hearing new things as is often the case in such situations.

So I-Way construction, or rather demolition, was underway on the Pine Street Bridge. Just a spring clean. Bright orange sparks cascaded down from a workman's tool to the closed lanes below. I was struck.

I contemplated getting off the highway and watching. I thought maybe I could stare at it until some new meaning in my life percolated to my mind. I could then write somethin very insightful in this very blog.

But I was already over the river at that point, as we wind on down the road. So I found no insight, my life didn't seem any more orderly and this entry has little purpose.

I saw a Dodge truck with a sticker portraying Calvin peeing on the Volkswagen logo, whatever that means.

Books and travel

2009-01-20T03:16:00.000-08:00

I haven't slept well tonight. Now it's 615, most people are awake now anyway but for a bum liked it's early. I've finished "The Pillars of the Earth," a historical fiction. It was odd to find myself rooting for the Catholic Church, both figuratively and literally. Not that I was literally rooting, but that a physical cathedral is the framework of the story. My Uncle Bill recommended it to me, and I was a little surprised to see it was on Opran's book club. I won't make fun of that anymore because this novel was masterful.

Coincidentally, I'm also reading a historic account of the second battle at Bull Run lent to me by my other Uncle Bill. Inthink it might mean more to someone who has a little more knowledge about the American Civil War. Perhaps I'll seek out an overview at the Library. It has been some years since American history on high school.

I've given up on Kafka. That's not entirely true, I've read about 300 pages and almost all of his longer stories. I don't think I'll get through the anthology, but more significantly I just don't feel I understood it all as much as I could have. I'm not a dim-witted guy but I need more context.

It's that time of year when I yearn to get in my car and drive south on 95 until it's warm enough for a T-shirt and shorts. This wild be the year to do it, I've crafted an existance that enables more mobility than most. If only I knew where the key to drop the back seats down in the Honda.

Tomorrow! Big Nazo band in Woonsocket! Free!

2008-10-10T10:51:00.001-07:00

The Big Nazo band is presenting a new show Saturday, October 11. It's at the Woonsocket AutumnFest at the World War II Memorial Park there.

The Intergalactic Creature show has kind of become an Intergalactic Creature Election Show with plenty of new show-stopping characters.

Like, "Stop this show! You don't have a permit to do that on a stage in the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations!" kind of show-stopping.

It's at 4:00, free, and absolutely the best thing in town on a Saturday afternoon unless you're at the casino or you rented a Karaoke machine to sing Bruce Springsteen all day on the lawn.

If you can't make it, Autumnfest is televised throughout the event on the Rhode Island Statewide Interconnect C, Cox Channel 15. So, yeah. That should be awesome. At least Tivo it! You can watch it again and again and try to figure out who's who.

Message me if you need more info, or call the cell at 508.813.8833.

-Stu

TGM

2008-09-14T05:29:00.000-07:00

One of my best Internet friends, The Green Meanie, is out in Texas. Stay safe!

San Francisco plans

2008-09-09T13:37:00.000-07:00

My older brother, currently a professional vagabond, has been giving me updates of his travels in the western part of the country.

My Dad and him overloaded the Dewmobile, a 1996 Buick Regal Gran Sport that's been passed amongst the Wilson men since it rolled off the dealership lot, and drove to Black Rock City, Nevada for Burning Man. My Dad has since described the endeavor as a smashing success.

They then drove to Las Vegas and stayed in a nice room for a few days. Nick called me from Vegas a few days ago, he was heading to Los Angeles next. He thought it would be a great idea if I flew out to meet him and helped him drive the Dewmobile back on the 18th.

I told him I couldn't, I was flying to San Francisco on the 19th for a gig. An odd coincidence. So Nick said he would see if he really had to leave then, or if he couldn't meet up in San Fran before driving back.

When I casually mentioned that my brother might be in the city for our gig, our fearless Nazo leader was visibly excited. He said he would hire my brother for the gig, if he wanted.

We're working the Treasure Island Music Festival, and it's no small gig. At least three strolls a day for big crowds at a festival with big names on stage. Nick did work a fireworks stroll with us, so he has that experience.

So Nick will join us and be a full-fledged member of the crew. After the festival, I'm planning to help him drive the Dewmobile back home, no doubt full of Burning Man gear, puppets and the music of the Human League.

Hopefully we'll be able to some small Nazo photo ops, meet up with Belcher in Denver and make it back in one piece. I think he's giving himself three days to get to Maine.

So that's two days working at an awesome festival, with backstage access to food and drink, a day off in San Francisco, one of my favorite cities, and a three-day buddy comedy to get home again in a car with more personality and history than some people I know.

I feel like the luckiest person in the world. I'm glad I'm involved with an organization as open to the opportunities of the world as Big Nazo, and a brother like Nick who's ready to pounce on adventure.

2008-09-03T06:38:00.001-07:00

Well I already wrote an Edmonton wrap-up post, but it seems to have disappeared.

Frankly, it wasn't all that interesting. The show went very well, besides a few of those small mistakes that are probably only noticed by the people making them, and the strolls were even better.

I didn't see much of Edmonton because we were in a nearby suburb and weren't there for very long.

What I'm really excited about is the show this Sunday at the Hot Club Waterplace Festival. As far as I know we're on at 6. It's the first time the band has done a gig in the area since 2007, so hopefully we'll get a crowd.

2008-08-27T20:38:00.000-07:00

A day in the studio and a great number of great bags are packed, in about five hours I have to be at the airport.

Big Nazo is off to Edmonton, Alberta. We have one great big show, and possibly a couple of smaller engagements.

It's not a particularly thrilling travel plan, I have to be at the airport at 4 a.m., then I have three flights before I get to my final destination, somehow I'm going through Texas. I also heard something about Denver on the way back, I don't know. I just put on my magic underpants and follow my passport.

Like Polk's four years in office, I go to Canada for four days. I will not stay for a second four-day term, it will not be necessary, for I will already have achieved my four goals.

1. Strike down the embargoes on foreign action figures. These have stood for too long; the last embers of a once roaring action-figure war that has cooled over the years. The fans have a right to all the latest Ripcord action figures from America.

2. Broker a deal to establish a Canadian Hall of Fame IN AMERICA. Preferrably Miami. Canada should get proper credit for Dave Foley, Rush and Steve Nash.

3. Force America to sell one of the Hawaiian Islands to Canada. The entire country could all winter on Maui, and as long as they tip the cabbies no one on the island would care.

4. Require that old people who want cheap Canadian drugs not come themselves, but send the most attractive of their granddaughters to pick them up for them.

This message payed for by the Campaign to have Stuart Wilson elected into any office available. Approved by Stuart Wilson's Stikfa collection. Mandated by the Encyclopedia of Bad Taste.

Olympics

2008-08-22T12:14:00.000-07:00

This idea of counting up one country's medals, gold silver and bronze, and tallying them as one, is ridiculous. Clearly they need to be weighted, not just for alloy but for sport.

A gold in the marathon should earn more points for her country than the winner of the bronze in rhythmic gymnastic ribbon-twirling.

At the top of the list you've got the decathalon, marathon, 1500M, 100M, individual all-around gymnastics, soccer and other stuff like that. Maybe wrestling too, for tradition. I'm not sure, there's probably a lot more. It's tough to get a swimming event in because there's just so many of them.

And maybe a decathalon plus a few dozen more events, swimming, kayaking, tetherball, roller dancing, van surfing, mustache growing, cooking, karaoke, water-skiing, vinyl spinning, nose blowing, stuff like that.

I also still like the idea of making every athlete for a particular country compete in some massive relay race/obstacle course. You'd have to have some formula for number of athletes or something.

There should be a mystery sport, each country sends a team of 15 or so guys, and then they find out the sport they're going to play when they show up. Like matball or one of those made-up games from gym class.

Not posting, living

2008-08-21T22:32:00.000-07:00

It's true, I haven't posted in way too long. I have no excuse, frankly I've been wasting so much of my time reading, playing frisbee, lounging at the beach and enjoying the company of family and friends.

Anyway I'm up late talking with my contacts in the ever-important GI Joe community, Tom Jacks and Johnny Turk, or whatever their weird pseudonyms are. I actually still refer to them as other nom de plumes.

I've found a beach with lots of sea glass, I'm thinking I'll start collecting it so I can grow plants amongst it, or something. I have to take care of this plant someone gave me, some kind of contest.

I'm hoping this small post will help me build some momentum towards the time when I wrote more regularly.

GOTTA KEEP MY EDGE UP!

Shucking and Jiving

2008-06-30T19:00:00.000-07:00

The cost of keeping an apartment in New Bedford now far outweighs the benefits, which are significantly diminished since leaving my job at SouthCoastToday.com.

Friday was my last day, and I didn't plan to be as sad as I was. I'm hoping some folks come out for drinks Wednesday night. I want to say goodbye away from the cubicle gray. And I want to bombard their faces with karaoke insanity.

So I've moved to Swansea with Dad, a situation that has worked well so far. We're both pretty busy, so there's plenty of house to go around. I'm trying to organize a six-room apartment's worth of junk into one bedroom, which is going fairly slowly.

I'm getting rid of a lot of stuff, but there's a lot more I could probably do without. Trappings!

I hit Roy's for the first time this season with Alyssa. The place has certainly changed. Even empty, the security booth at the entrance is imposing. The 24 rules in the newly printed handbook seem so strange considering the unruly existence I enjoyed as a kid. We're wondering how we can pull of our annual clambake without the aid of a fire, now prohibited.

It's been a long time since I went to the beach on a weekday, and It was odd to see the place so quiet.

I'm helping out with puppet workshops in Jamestown for the next three mornings. I'm not sure what to expect, but it will be good training for some other camps Nazo has coming up. Friday we'll be at the fireworks in Attleboro, apparently in case some kids aren't scared enough by the explosions, a few trolls will be roaming around.

The final wrap-up

2008-06-24T11:10:00.000-07:00

I never really wrote a post-trip complete wrap-up, but I wrote something for the Standard-Times that I spent some real time with, as opposed to the fifteen minutes or so I spent on most of my blog posts.

There were four pictures, including two of me, but I deleted one. I really wanted zero of me. Everyone seems to want their picture in the paper, maybe our living editor thought she was doing me a favor. I've been in the paper enough times.

Returning to work hasn't been much fun. They laid off 16 people, and changed my job around. So I've quit my job. I'm going to move to Swansea and live with my dad, take as many puppet gigs as I can get and work for GlobalEduHealth.org. That URL doesn't go anywhere yet, but be patient.

So the summer lays at my feet. There'll be more traveling with Nazo, concerts, beach time and maybe a trip to Burning Man. It's the American way.

I'm excited to have time to visit all my friends and family, but I'll be working hard even after my last day at the paper friday; I just won't get paid that much. And the price of gas makes those long trips a lot less appealing.

But there were times

2008-05-29T20:43:00.000-07:00

Two shows a day in Ottawa has whipped our ragtag outfit into...a smellier, wearier ragtag outfit that does two shows a day.

I kid.

As I had predicted, the show really is starting to run a lot better, now that we've only five shows left. We're actually watching tapes of recent shows now, making notes, constantly working to improve things.

Right now, we're watching Mossy work to fix her hair onstage. Mossy is a troll who has no arm movement, so she's jerking her head back and forth to fix it. Her hairpiece has since been re-pinned. Anyway, I think I did a valiant job of trying to disguise my problem. These are the things that happen daily. It keeps on our toes.

We're also realizing that there are at least a dozen parts of the script that make almost no sense. It's important that kids understand the way the world works, right? There are also four separate instances of characters taking off a mask to reveal another mask, and one on-stage head swap in a monster's mouth. Layers upon layers.

The local TV news came to a show, taped some footage and did an interview. Erminio showed us a tape of the TV playing the footage. Layers upon layers.

We've watched so many shows we can't tell that we've already seen this tape tonight. Glamorous.

I bought an ugly hat, but now I can tell people I bought it in Canada, and that gives it cred. I took a picture of myself wearing it in front of the Brown Loaf Bakery; a great spot to get baked goodies and my new name for my butt.

Why I Ottawa...

2008-05-27T16:24:00.000-07:00

Well, we wrapped up Penticton with a show for our smallest audience yet, on Saturday when there were no school trips. I remember it as a Saturday, anyway.

Even though the house was only about a third full, we had one of our best shows of the tour, and got more laughs. On the weekends, the crowds are about half adults, instead of a smattering of teachers and chaperones amongst a myriad of crazy schoolchildren. Anyway, I think that proves that we have a few jokes flying over the kids' heads. References to product placement and Thelonius Monk probably go over some adult heads.

But it was a good time, on the last night we went to the local casino for the festival end bash. I've been to better, and the evening ended on a sour note when Meg realized her camera had flown from her possession at some point in our dance floor invasion.

A full day of travel left us in Ottawa late Sunday night. Yesterday was our first day off, not counting travel days and tech days, which definitely do not count as a day off.

So I woke up, walked around a mall, parliament and some other shopping destinations. Then I bugged Min for my Canadian cash a bit before noon, confirmed that I didn't have any obligations for the day, and headed out for the Canadian Museum of Civilization, or some such named place. It was a great place, but I couldn't help feeling ignorant about Canada. Almost everything was foreign to me; every name in the "Face to Face" exhibit was new. I guess that's the point of the museum.

Our rooms are apartment-style, with living rooms and kitchens, so I thought I would make some pasta tonight. That means I was going to boil water, add pasta, and cover it with a jar of sauce. I thought I'd invite a couple other people over, because we're all trying to save money. Food of all kinds is expensive here.

Now we're in Erminio's room, everyone is coming, I'm not cooking and the meal will be a lot more complex. And so it goes.

Afterwards we're finally going to watch a video of one of our shows, and see if we can make some more tweaks. We love to tweak.

I took some nice pictures of Ottawa, myself and my PBR, but I haven't posted them yet.

I yearn to be home, but I'm certainly on the home stretch now.

Much love to my American peeps!

Penticton

2008-05-22T18:47:00.000-07:00

We wrapped up our intergalactic creature show in Vancouver after five shows, and several strolls and workshops. My favorite part of the trip has become the minutes directly after a show. Children want to meet and talk to my character, and I can actually talk back. I tell them to study their chemistry, pose for a few pictures and answer questions. It's kind of special.

We also spent time TEARING UP several dance scenes, including the festival closing party. The Topcats played, which was essentially the Nazo band without masks. The musicians we have in the band right now are out of this world.

So we got on a bus with Linda Tillery and the Cultural Heritage Choir, Les Parfaits Inconnus and some other performers and drove to this Penticton place. They call it a city. It reminds me of a small midwest city, except with lakes and mountains. Everything is spread out for no good reason, stuff is newish but not that nice.

The festival grounds, tents and crowds are smaller, but the kids still loved our first show today, and the stroll went well too.

Hopefully I'll find more time with the Net soon. No new pictures for now.

Much love.

Vancouver!

2008-05-18T19:28:00.000-07:00

So we have four days of performing behind us now. The show is being continually tweaked, and continues to be well attended. Apparently the tent seats a thousand people, and it's at least 75% full. The first two shows seemed sold out, when the school groups were at the festival.

We've also done a couple 45 minute strolls that have been great fun. Kids everywhere make it more interesting for us.

Sharing a hotel and stage with a French-Canadian musical/acrobatic/comedic company called L'Parfaits Inconnus (The Perfect Unknowns in English, and don't hold me to the French spelling) has led to a great relationship. One of the five has his girlfriend and their two kids along. (One kid is still in her belly.) All very nice people, we look forward to being on the bus with them to the next festival as well.

All the festival staff is great, I'm not used to this kind of treatment. The Luxury Bum tour with Will Brierly those years ago was built on a foundation of being on the outside trying to get in. I have that magical "PERFORMER" badge now, and a hotel, and breakfast, and no worries, really.

Vancouver really is a great city. After our show on Thursday, I took a long walk along the water, to the thousand acre park that encompasses the end of the peninsula. The area between the water and the skyscrapers is beautiful, with separate paths for perambulators and their wheeled counterparts. There were beaches, grassy areas, volleyball courts...all manner of great stuff a few blocks from downtown.

Imagine if you could leave your office, walk a few blocks, and be on the beach? With another fabulous looking park across the "creek," grass around? I can only imagine how valuable this is on everyone in the city's state of mind.

The buildings all seem fairly new, with tasteful architecture. Almost nothing looks run down. There's just so much more green than most cities for some reason: trees, grass, ivy. Wonderful.

There's a place a few blocks from our hotel with a sushi special: 18 pieces for $5.50. And it's very good sushi. There's actually lots of sushi places, and the prices are all comparable in price. I can't speak for the quality yet. So the food is abundant and good, there are some pretty rad shops as well. It's a great city to walk around in.

So I've fallen for Vancouver a little. I've already told myself that I would never leave the Northeast; family and friends beat out a nice city. But if we were relocate the clan, this would be a place to consider.

I've put up some more pictures, some with caption that give a little more explanation. I'm busy most of the time, so it's hard to write as much as I would like. We'll be leaving in a couple days, perhaps I'll be able to document the Big Nazo experience a little better when we get into the mountains.

Much love!

O CANADA

2008-05-15T18:36:00.000-07:00

I've not only arrived in Vancouver now, but I've got my first show out of the way. I've also had my first substantial bowel movement, so I'm a lot less stressed than I was this morning.

The drama started early, on a plane that only sat 20. When 9 of those passengers are checking 2 GIGANTIC hockey bags each, the cargo space is tight. We overheard their concerns on the radio, and they even sat the women in a different place than the men to compensate for our luggage. A bit hectic.

So the plane was late after all the shannegans, and we missed our connecting flight from Toronto to Vancouver. We also discovered that they gave up on fitting all the bags and only put on 9. So we caught the next flight to Vancouver and our bags made their way, eventually reaching the hotel the following morning.

Wednesday we brought the other bags to the site, got everything organized, and then headed to a children's hospital for a six-person mini-show. Great fun. The kids seemed to enjoy it almost as much as the adults. Afterwards, a local TV reporter tried to interview us. It's hard to be too professional when a troll is licking your microphone, though. After that we soundchecked and ran the show almost all the way through. Of course, we only had a few hours and there were lots of changes being made still. It's an ever-evolving kind of a thing.

This morning we had a workshop in a nautical museum with about 30 adorable kids. We explain to them how puppets work, and get them up and acting. It's a hoot. Our first show was an hour later, so we were in major scramble mode, of course.

I'm not going to say it was perfect, but I think it went very well. No mistakes, really. The show can be improved though; tightened up, sharpened. I know when I'm more relaxed about all the nitty gritty of entrances and costume changes (my real skill) I'll be able to give it a little more onstage.

I have pics but I can't upload them now, next post. I want to talk more about the city, too.

If you know me well enough to read this, assume I miss you a bunch.

Gearing up

2008-05-12T07:53:00.000-07:00

The intergalactic, interspecies rock and roll puppet brigade heads to Canada tomorrow morning. I'm about ready myself, although my anticipated costume sneakers are missing, so I'll just have to use some orange ones instead of red. I think it will be fine.

We rehearsed Saturday, and worked on some puppets, and more puppetwork on sunday. There were six pieces to be completed, when I left Sunday for dinner all three new bellies were done (see pictures) but the trolls not so much. I think the hogg monster will have to wait.

I'm already gone in my mind. Anyway, I created a Flickr set for posting pictures, so click to see them all.

New clothes!

2008-05-08T08:02:00.000-07:00

Like a giddy seventeen-year-old girl, I'm here to tell you all about the clothes I bought last night, and the experiments I did with them.

I'm getting ready to head to Canada, where I'll be doing multiple shows a day for a few days straight, getting sweaty and such. So...a potentially smelly three weeks.

I have this black T made from spagey polymers or something that is supposed to wick moisture and do all that, it's pretty great. Normally I just wear cotton, and get wet. It's gross. I'm hoping to change that model.

After spending nearly $47 at Marshalls, I have a pair of high-tech wicking underwear, some polyester socks, and two high-tech t-shirts. All black, as is the Nazo tradition.

I figure I can change shirts and socks between shows once a day, which could be great if it really heats up. It's hot in the costumes even in winter, really.

So I dunked them all thoroughly in the sink last night, wrung them out and hung them to dry in the bathroom. After a few hours, they were still a little damp, but by morning bone dry. I also bought a pair of board shorts that I did the same with. So now I have an entire wardrobe I can wash in the hotel sink, dry over night and be ready to go with in the morning. Obviously this isn't everyone's idea of hygiene, but I like the idea of sustainability on the road.

I'm bringing other clothes too, but as always I'm trying to pack super light. One pair of shoes, one pair of pants, stuff like that.

Some other recent additions to my trip luggage include a borrowed iPod and a tiny point-and-shoot digital camera.

2008-05-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

Editor's note, I originally posted this here, but it got long enough I felt the need to repost it.

I wouldn't say that I don't have the money to pay for cable, because I could dig it up somewhere. But more importantly, I don't WANT to pay for cable. If I did that, I'd probably get the high-speed Internet package too, and now I have to shell out $100 monthly to Cox. I'd rather spend that money on...I don't know a motorcycle or something.

Anyway, now I have one channel, the CW, which is unwatchable. I find infomercials more entertaining. (Actually, the CW might show infomercials late at night. That I could get behind.) So TV is out. I have a TV though, and DVD player. Anyway, here are my usual non-cable activities, in no particular order. Also keep in mind I often do one or more of these at a time.

1. Watch stupid YouTube videos. This is probably good to kill a couple of hours. Of course, since I'm stealing somebody else's wireless, I wait a while for them to load. I'm patient.

2. Video games. I picked up a used PS2 a few months ago for about $100. It's also a DVD player, and you can find used games for $5-10 at lots of game shops.

3. Listen to sports games. Really, the Red Sox are 70% as good when they're just on the radio. If you look, you can also find sites that will stream audio of all the NBA playoff games.

4. My 1000 piece puzzle. I've been working for a few weeks and I'm about 7% done. If you need to entertain yourself for 2 months and you only have $4, I recommend this.

5. Actually cook a meal. This one hasn't really been happening for me yet, but if I don't have TV to distract me, I should be able to focus on making some delicious food. So far I've got as far as scrambled egg with salsa in a flour tortilla. That's kind of a breakfast burrito, right?

6. Pick-up sports. I prefer ultimate frisbee. There are some kids who play in Buttonwood Park around 3 p.m. I'm told. I only played with them once. I imagine if you're free at 3 p.m. during the week then you definitely need to pinch pennies. Anyway, I play with a bunch of Middleboro townies Tuesdays and Thursdays at 6. All you need is a pair of sneakers and some clothes you can run around in. I'm sure in New Bedford basketball is a more popular choice, but I couldn't even play for the Miami Heat I'm so bad.

7. Play music. I have a drum set I bought of a high school kid for $75 some years ago. I can't tell you how much fun it is to bang around. I've got a yard-sale guitar I do the same with. I'm hoping to write a song about Rock and Roll soon. I don't know how my neighbors feel about all this.

8. Watching movies. I still have a VHS player, which is great because stores will practically pay you to take those off their hands. Savers always has a great selection. I have some DVD's as well. I try not to own them though, it's much easier to borrow from my friends' and coworkers' extensive libraries.

9. Read a book. Lame, but effective.

10. Sewing. I have a denim jacket I sew patches onto. It's relaxing, and it's given me a rad custom coat. Awesome jackets are always in style, and it's a great conversation starter with the ladies or gentlemen.

Here are some things I don't do, but might be fun too:

-Paint your walls a bright, fun color.
-Start a rap group with a gimmick. Something like all your songs being about water balloon fights.
-Make friendship bracelets and give them to coworkers. If you're unemployed, sell them to people.
-Learn to dance. But don't get lessons or an instructional video, just FEEL the dance.
-Write a letter. Not an e-mail, but actually put pen to paper. Everyone loves getting one of these: grandmothers, second cousins, parole officers, grammar-school classmates, and the Standard-Times.
-Flip over the puzzle once you're done, and try to do it without the aid of a picture. That'll extend that $4 for years.
-Try to get a public access cable show. Of course, you won't be able to watch your show, but maybe when you're at the studio on break you can catch some new episodes of Lost or whatever.
-Karaoke (Actually I just did this last night, and after a PBR and sangria, I was down $6, so this may not be that economical.)

CANADA!

2008-03-26T19:14:00.000-07:00

Last week, the mysterious forces at Big Nazo asked me to go along with them on their Canadian tour. As a dedicated denizen of the road, my heart yearned. It's only a few cities, and the troupe will be traveling through the air and sleeping in hotels, as opposed to vans and vans, respectively, as can be the case.

At first, I practically ignored the dates on the schedule. I have a job; I can't just leave for three weeks. After some e-mails and a convincing phone call, I figured I would see what I could do at work. Somewhat miraculously, I was granted the time. (I only have two weeks of vacation a year.)

So We leave May 13 for what could be an epic adventure. Mostly children's festivals in the cities of Ottawa and Vancouver. I've enjoyed traveling and performing with the Nazo cats so far. It can be exhausting, but it's rewarding. It keeps my creative juices flowing.

A few notes about this blog:

I installed Google Analytics on this page. I wanted to see how many people were reading. I was thrilled to see that I have had six viewers! I understand that a few of them are me, but that's honestly more than I though I would have.

I haven't sent this to more than two or three people, and I haven't put up links anywhere. I'm sort of soft-opening it, which I'm also doing with some of my new videos. Eventually, I want this to be the clearing house for all my projects, and maybe I'll get the design of this thing figured out by then too. (If you haven't noticed, the header keeps changing.)

Anyway, live long and prosper.

John Kerry update

2008-03-25T14:29:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to report that my video of John Kerry was aired on CNN by Lou Dobbs. Of course, there was no credit given. A number of blogs, including BreitBart.tv and Greta Van Sustern also helped get the video over 10,000 views, which I think is new territory for me. Some jerk also captured it an re-uploaded 28 seconds of my clip, and that has 6,000 views. The Huffington Post linked to that one, and said that he "gave an interview with a local N.H. paper," which diminishes my confidence in the Huffington site.

Anyway, I guess I did my job if I got people looking at our stuff. Setting a camera up on a tripod isn't the hardest task in the world, but finding the few minutes out of an hour that people might be interested in takes a few brain cells.

Even if I keep thinking we're done talking about Obama's race, it seems to keep coming up. I'm saddened about the reposted clip. The user is not only stealing copyrighted material, but also edited the clip with a clear bias. Granted, I picked the part of the interview I found the most interesting, yes, even controversial, but I thought I gave his remarks appropriate context.

I suppose it's a lesson in today's media. Even when presented with the full argument, some will intentionally grab a few words to create controversy. This isn't news to anyone, but I've never been a party to it before.

My Stupid Trip

2008-03-21T17:03:00.000-07:00

I just uploaded a new film, finished a couple weeks ago. It's about my trip to India.

I should point out that Sean Belcher filmed the shave, Trevor Wilson provided the music and Aidan Giuttari and Nick Wilson provided additional support.

I hope to do a longer series on my trip to India soon.

Springfield Movie Awards

2008-03-20T13:40:00.001-07:00

20,000 movies were being show in Springfield one weekend, and all the cobras had their titties perky at the prospect.

For 20,000 years, The Baroness had said "no more stupid movies, idiotcows!" so all the vipers watched were the episodes of Step by Step that Firefly had lent them on VHS.

So all the danaburgers showed up for the big showing of movies, which were all supposed to about eating giant cheeseburgers, fraggin' on Snake Eyes with .3134234 full-deriched uraniamum anti-tank hollow tipped diamond stylus automatic rounds froma 20 metere bored and stroked plasma MAMABA cannon that they JB welded onto the side of that gay thing that Zartan cruises for old florida swamp ladies with.

So they were excited about that.

Anyway, they all showed up at the theater, which a televiper made by modifiying Kristal Ballz' holodisc to project onto Dr. Mindwarpers cloak thing. It was bad ass.

TOO BAD IT WASN'T!

Cause the movie started, and it was mad awesome for like, 12 seconds, all explosions and Supertramp songs and titties and shit, but then the screen caught on fire and a buttload of Rolling Thunders came through the screen with Rock and Roll, Snake Eyes, Hit and Run, General Hawk, Quick Kick, Kwinn, Lady Jaye, Flint, Deep Six, Torpedo, Shipwreck, chuckles and Hi-Tech all shooting mad .357 caliber shotgun lasers through their faces and making them bleed and burn to death while their kids and puppies watched.

After all 20,000 cobras were throroughly bled out to death, The Joes yelled "Yo Joe" and told kids to wash their dad's cars every Saturday morning without being asked, and maybe he won't beat you anymore. PSA, fo real.

Anyway, the worst part was that the movie was really bad too, after the first 20 seconds it was mostly just old Grateful Dead footage and Destro's favorite scenes from "Glengarry Glen Ross" all out of order.

Trouble me

2008-03-19T12:02:00.000-07:00

I intended this blog to be a place to write about my life, among other things. I also intended it to be a light-hearted telling of my story, which would certainly be a comedy if it ever became a movie.

I'll get to the funny stuff later, I guess.

I met Natalie a few times late in 2007, she lived in the apartment below an old friend, Erin Sheppard. We chatted briefly.

I was a busy man on New Years Eve, appearing in four shows and dancing with a near excess of ladies. One of those ladies was Natalie Garcia.

A week later we talked more at a party in said apartment building. Mutual attraction and interests came to light; we started dating soon after. Of course things went well at first. We hung out, had dinner, watched the occasional movie. Since we were both runners, we also found great training partners in each other.

Natalie works at a newspaper too; she's a fellow for the Providence Journal. Her fellowship ends in June, something I could never get out of my mind. I think that's one of the biggest reasons it came to an end last night.

I don't intend this space to be a just a social journal, but I figured I should record these events in case I need to reference them later.

So ladies...

John Kerry and Obama.

2008-03-18T11:22:00.000-07:00

John Kerry came to meet with our editorial board yesterday. I've met him briefly before, and seen him talk once in person at the Providence Journal Follies. After some truly hilarious jokes, he went into a not-so-hilarious stump session for Obama that night.

The stumping continued on Monday when he talked with the editors. I would like to add that I talked to him briefly about the half marathon I ran the previous day, which Bob Unger had just brought up. I admit I felt like a little kid again, talking to a grown-up.

I think it was interesting that he would say Obama has advantages just because he's black.

Either way, he's a nice guy in person. Tall, relaxed, well-informed.

My new blog!

2008-03-17T16:51:00.000-07:00

POLITICIANS NEED RED MEAT. (If they want it.)